• Virgins (Adult)

A virgin is defined as “a: a person who has not had sexual intercourse; b: a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity.”1

An adult virgin is someone over the age of 18 (in the United States) who falls under part of that definition since it only includes intercourse.

“[B]etween 12-14 percent of adults aged 20-24 have never had sex … around five percent for adults aged 25-29, and by age 44, only around 0.3 percent of adults report never having had the type of sex that could end in somebody getting pregnant.”2

According to Planned Parenthood: “A virgin is someone who’s never had sex — but it’s not quite as simple as it seems. That’s because sex means different things to different people, so virginity can mean different things, too. A lot of people think that having penis-in-vagina sex for the first time is how you lose your virginity. But this leaves lots of people and other types of sex out of the picture. … Many people believe rape and sexual assault aren’t sex — it’s only sex if both partners have consent. So if someone was forced or pressured the first time they had vaginal sex, oral sex, or anal sex, they may not see that as ‘losing their virginity.'”3

The sourced articles below should provide more information on the topic of adult virgins.

  1. Losing Your Virginity At A Nevada Brothel – Things You Should Know

    “It may seem daunting, admitting to a working girl at a legal brothel that you are an adult virgin seeking to have sex for the first time. Some men disclose it to their chosen lady prior to their arrival via email or private message, some utter it in nervous whispers when they first meet their deflowerer, and others don’t even mention it, preferring to keep that part private until the end of our session — or even forever. The fact is that countless virgins of all ages, orientations, and walks of life enter Sheri’s Ranch each day with the intention of ditching their v-card once and for all, and each one leaves knowing more about himself, prepared to face the outside world as a new man — or perhaps the same man, but with more confidence and a better understanding of how to do the deed.”

    Bunnie Hughes, sherisranch.com, 7/12/2018

  2. “I haven’t Had Sex – But I’m Not A Virgin” The Sex I Do Have Is Just As Real As Anyone Else’s.

    “I’ve been with EC for four years now, and although we haven’t had penetrative sex, we are in no way abstinent. We do have a sexual relationship, engaging in mostly oral, because manual sex is often too painful for me. We’ve had the freedom to experiment with different forms of ‘outercourse’ which has effectively replaced intercourse. … I’m certainly not the only one affected by this outdated definition. If PIV (penis in vagina) is real sex, then what are my LGBTQIA+ friends having? The feelings and emotions around physical intimacy are very much the same, regardless of who you’re doing it with. … My four-year anniversary with my EC is approaching, and I still love him very much. And while we may not have had technically had sex by traditional standards, I’m definitely not a virgin.”

    Hannah Cound, cosmopolitan.com, 3/30/2018

  3. Is the Adult Male Virgin Society’s Last Taboo?

    “According to a large study by the National Center for Health Statistics, the mean age at which someone in the US has sexual intercourse is about 17 years old. To reach a quarter of a century with one’s virginity still intact is to enter a domain shared by only two percent of other US males (and three percent of females.) This is an achievement that, within academic circles, sometimes attracts the moniker ‘adult virgin,’ but within wider popular culture, often invites more disparaging terms.”

    Harry Siva, goodmenproject.com, 9/17/2017

  4. What Does It Mean To Be A Virgin?

    “What’s virginity? A virgin is someone who’s never had sex. But people define ‘sex’ and ‘losing virginity’ in many different ways. … A virgin is someone who’s never had sex — but it’s not quite as simple as it seems. That’s because sex means different things to different people, so virginity can mean different things, too.”

    Planned Parenthood Federation of America, plannedparenthood.org, 3/11/2017

  5. If I Have Oral Sex, Will I Still Be A Virgin?

    “Usually when people talk about virginity, they’re only talking about one kind of sex – vaginal intercourse between a man and a woman. But we know there are all sorts of ways to be sexually active that don’t fit that exact description. It seems like girls get judged for being a virgin and boys get judged for not being a virgin. It can be easy to get caught up in labels and technicalities, but those labels don’t tell us the more important things about your situation. Things like – are you in a safe relationship with someone who cares about you? Are you putting yourself at risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?”

    Online Resource, collagecenter.com, 2/25/2017

  6. The 6 Most Embarrassing Questions You Hear As A 28-Year-Old Virgin

    “While the gent in question was perfectly lovely about my being a virgin at age 28, not everyone had always been so kind. Considering that the average woman loses her virginity at 17, I heard plenty of difficult questions during those atypically sexless years….”

    Karla Walsh, greatist.com, 1/27/2017

  7. 24 Adult Virgins Share The Real Reasons Why They’ve Never Had Sex

    “There are many reasons people choose to have sex. There are also many reasons people don’t have sex, even it’s something they desperately want. These 24 adults took to Reddit to open up about what’s stopped them from losing their virginity – and how it has impacted their lives.”

    Maria Yagoda, people.com, 6/20/2016

  8. What It’s Like To Be An Adult Virgin, According To Science

    “New research published in The Journal of Sex Research has some disappointing news for a specific, sexual minority among us. Researchers found that most people don’t find adult virgins sexually desirable — including adult virgins themselves. … However, the third study’s findings, luckily, were less disappointing for virgins — among young people, the sexually inexperienced were more likely to find equally inexperienced people more attractive.”

    Sara Coughlin, refinery29.com, 4/2/2016

  9. The Adult Virgins Among Us, Statistics

    “A report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics that involved interviews with 13,500 men and women between the ages of 15 to 44 showed the number of adult virgins is higher than ever. Could it be a religious thing, or is there some kind of chastity movement sweeping the nation?”

    Christina Monroe, rebelcircus.com, 1/25/2016

  10. What Really Happens If You’re a Late In Life Virgin

    “In 2012, the University of Texas-Austin released a study that found people who have sex at age 20 or later reported having more satisfying romantic relationships than those who had sex younger than age 20.”

    Laura Donovan, attn.com, 1/24/2016

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Footnotes

1. merriam-webster.com, accessed on 6/26/2018

2. howstuffworks.com, 8/8/2016

3. plannedparenthood.org, accessed on 6/26/2018