Individual Phone Sex

There are many reasons couples stimulate one another sexually over the phone with descriptions of sexual activities. One reason may be that they are separated by distance, whether in a long-distance relationship or just because of a business trip.

Other people engage in phone sex before having a physical relationship or to share a fantasy. The danger of catching an STI/STD or getting pregnant is non-existent during phone sex.

Some sex toys can be controlled by smartphones adding another level of contact between people talking about sex over the phone. Although there is no physical contact involved (unless the couple is in the same room playing a phone sex game), phone sex may be considered cheating if someone is engaged in phone sex with a person not their committed partner.1

The articles below provide more information on phone sex and what to say when exciting a partner sexually over the phone.

Footnote: 1. “Is Online Infidelity Really Infidelity?,” psychologytoday.com, 9/16/2015


  1. What Is Facetime Sex? For Starters, It’s The Hottest Thing You Can Do On An Iphone

    “The number one tip sex educator and sexuality advocate Molly-Margaret Johnson (a.k.a. @whatswrongwithmyvagina on Instagram) gives on FaceTime sex is, ‘Lean into the strangeness and the silliness. It’ll never be like the real deal, so play into what makes it unique.’ This means playing with camera angles, Johnson says, and teasing your partner(s) with to what’s on-screen vs. what’s off-screen. Adjusting the room’s lighting, your clothing, and the space in general for maximum sensuality, comfort, and safety will all help the FaceTime call go smoothly.”

    Caroline Colvin, elitedaily.com, 3/19/2019

  2. How Do I Have Good Sex?

    “Sex isn’t one size fits all. What feels good to you might not be right for someone else. Everyone’s different when it comes to sexual behaviors and desires, but here are some common kinds of sexual activity: …
    [1.] masturbating alone or with a partner …
    [2.] oral, vaginal, and anal sex …
    [3.] kissing …
    [4.] rubbing your bodies together …
    [5.] using sex toys …
    [6.] phone sex or ‘sexting’ …
    [7.] reading or watching porn …
    [8.] sex talk, or ‘talking dirty’ during sex …”

    Planned Parenthood Federation of America, plannedparenthood.org, accessed on 7/23/2018

  3. What To Say If You Get Tongue-Tied During Phone Sex

    “It’s completely normal to get tongue-tied during phone sex, and you don’t have to face-palm yourself if you feel this way, says Ashley Manta, a former phone sex operator and author of A Feminist’s Guide To Phone Sex. ‘We are conditioned from an early age to experience pleasure quickly and silently, due to most of us growing up in households where masturbation required stealth and speed,’ Manta says. ‘Identifying and articulating our sexual needs is a learned skill, and one that takes practice.’ … So, the next time you don’t know what to say, try one of these tantalizing, roll-off-the-tongue phrases from Mantas’ book and other phone sex operators in the business. …
    [1.] LET ME READ YOU SOMETHING …
    [2.] HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT BEFORE? …
    [3.] MOAN. …
    [4.] WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? …
    [5.] TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO ME. …
    [6.] FEELING YOUR FINGER INSIDE ME MAKES ME SOAKING WET. …
    [7.] AS SOON AS I WALK INTO YOUR ROOM, I FEEL YOUR HANDS PULL DOWN MY PANTS. …
    [8.] I FEEL MY CHEEKS FLUSHING. MY NIPPLES ARE HARD. I FEEL HEAT RADIATING FROM MY LEGS. MY BODY IS CRAVING YOUR TOUCH. …
    [9.] I HEAR YOU BREATHING RAPID GASPS AS YOU FEEL THE PLEASURE BUILDING. …
    [10.] I RUN MY HANDS OVER MY BREASTS, DOWN MY BELLY, AND SLIP MY RIGHT HAND INTO MY UNDERWEAR. …
    [11.] I CAN SEE YOUR MUSCLES SHAKE AS I TEASE YOUR ASSHOLE, WHICH IS BEGGING TO BE FINGERED. …
    [12.] I’M GOING TO BRING YOU TO THE EDGE OF ORGASM UNTIL YOU’RE SO OVERCOME WITH NEED THAT YOU BEG ME TO LET YOU CUM. …
    [13.] MMM, THAT WAS SO GOOD …”

    Cory Stieg, refinery29.com, 2/6/2018

  4. How To Have Hot (Not Weird) Phone Sex

    “Speaking on the phone was the norm not long ago. With various studies showing how screen addiction and phubbing are screwing up your sex life, we need to start using our phones for good—sex, that is. Compounded by this lack of phone skills is our inability to have phone sex. Due to all of this screen time, phone sex has lost its appeal—but it’s high time it made a comeback. It shows that you are a confident woman, it’s sexy as hell, it helps build connection with your partner, it can ease the stress that comes along with long-distance relationships, and, hey, it’s really fun!”

    Gigi Engle, brides.com, 10/20/2017

  5. 22 Tips From Phone-Sex Operators To Up Your Dirty Talk

    “These (ahem, detailed) tips will help you navigate any sexy call you’re on. …
    [1.] Use a template. …
    [2.] Practice in your car. …
    [3.] Stray from reality. …
    [4.] Make a vocab list. …
    [5.] Plan beforehand. …
    [6.] Don’t be afraid to laugh. …
    [7.] Read an erotic story. …
    [8.] Don’t expect cuddling after each time. …
    [9.] Don’t rush it. …
    [10.] Talk about something you’ll actually do later. …
    [11.] Don’t be afraid to talk about things you’d never do. …
    [12.] Create characters to add dimension. …
    [13.] Figure out your partner’s prefered vocabulary. …
    [14.] Make sure your language is action-oriented. …
    [15.] Don’t just sit there — move! …
    [16.] Don’t only say ‘fuck.’ …
    [17.] Use toys on yourself. …
    [18.] Use more adjectives. …
    [19.] Wear something sexy …
    [20.] Always be yourself …
    [21.] Find your phone-sex voice and practice it. …
    [22.] Make more noise than usual. …
    [23.] Get yourself in the mood. …”

    Lindsay Tigar, Refinery29, yahoo.com, 9/7/2017

  6. How To Have Phone Sex Without Feeling Corny AF

    “Luckily, Lauren Rules, a professional phone sex operator with over 15 years of experience, is here to give her top 14 tips on how to have the best, most non-awkward phone sex of your life. Read on for general advice — and most importantly — straight-up lines of dialogue you can steal and put in your back pocket. …
    [1.] Give them a freemium preview so they’ll want to upgrade. …
    [2.] Here’s how you give an Oscar-worthy ~SeXy~ vocal performance …
    [3.] Listen to your partner …
    [4.] Roleplay …
    [5.] Talk about those #TBTs …
    [6.] Live vicariously through the phone …
    [7.] Try ‘Confessional’ Time …
    [8.] Explore new places…with your words …
    [9.] Don’t forget about pillow talk! …
    [10.] Remember that phone sex can be an appetizer, not just the main course. …
    [11.] Be safe …
    [12.] Don’t be afraid of awkward lulls in conversation …
    [13.] Take a detour if you need it …
    [14.] Cut him off if you feel like it …”

    Carina Hsieh, cosmopolitan.com, 7/6/2017

  7. Your 7-Step Guide To Phone Sex That’ll Make Him Orgasm In SECONDS

    “Trying to keep it hot during long-distance can be be tough. One particular problem is the lack of physical intimacy. A great work-around to compensate for this is by trying phone sex. It’s usually not as good as the real thing, but it is particularly good at bridging the gap until you do see each other again. Now, let’s learn the best way to have phone sex. …
    [1.] Alternate between using Skype and your phone. …
    [2.] Build things up slowly. …
    [3.] Talk about the situation and positions. …
    [4.] Give physical directions. …
    [5.] Tell them what you are doing. …
    [6.] Use sex toys. …
    [7.] Send sexy pictures and texts. …
    [8.] One final word of advice about phone sex: The first few times you have it, it’s inevitably going to be a bit awkward and even a little weird. …”

    Sean Jameson, yourtango.com, 6/30/2016

  8. How To Give GREAT Phone Sex (Yes, You Can Do it!)

    “‘Phone sex can be a great way to experience your deepest fantasies without trying to do things that might be logistically difficult or impossible,’ says Ellie Lumpesse, a professional phone sex operator and blogger.”

    Jayme Waxan, yourtango.com, 3/17/2016

  9. Is Online Infidelity Really Infidelity?

    “The researchers also found that females reported stronger feelings that phone sex or cybersex constituted cheating, which is explained by the fact that females compared to males are less likely to agree to sex without commitment …”

    Martin Graff, PhD, psychologytoday.com, 9/16/2015

  10. What Is Considered Cheating (From A Man’s And A Woman’s Point Of View)

    “Here are some other behaviors, beyond those discussed in the Michigan study, that cause people to accuse others of cheating:
    [1.] Friends with benefits (where a person insists his or her sex partner is ‘just a friend’) …
    [2.] Going on a date with someone other than your partner …
    [3.] Going to internet chat rooms with the intention of exchanging phone numbers or to meet up …
    [4.] Phone sex with someone other than your partner …”

    kanisemeekstdiva, pairedlife.com, 1/6/2015