There are more than a dozen slang words for casual sex, which includes anything from making out to “quickie” sex of all kinds with “no strings attached” (but for couples if could be condensed sexual alone time to fit their stressful schedules).
Every generation has their code – from “zipless fuck” in the 1970s to the 21st century “Netflix and chill.” Young people are always coming up with new terms for “one-night stands” and “booty calls,” but it’s a game for all consenting ages.
While “friends with benefits” may have its pitfalls, there may be some benefits to sex with no long-term commitment.
Whatever the current code is for “hooking up,” making sure both partners are in agreement with the momentary fling is the key to a successful “roll in the hay,” but sometimes it could turn into something more long term.
The sourced articles below should provide more information on casual sex from who’s having it, what kind they’re having, how they’re getting it, to the best ways to get some safely.
- Using Tinder Doesn’t Lead To More Casual Sex, A New Study Says
“A new study has found that Tinder and other picture-based dating apps don’t increase users’ success in pursuing casual romantic connections. That’s not because the app doesn’t work, but because people inclined to have casual sex do so at similar rates whether they’re using an app, or more old-fashioned methods.”
David Z. Morris, fortune.com, 5/20/2018
- How To Have A Meaningful Quickie
“‘An orgasm is more of a cherry on top kind of thing,’ [Kristen] Lilla [an AASECT certified sex therapist in Nebraska] says. In fact, having a quickie doesn’t even necessarily mean having sex, and definitely not just penetrative sex. Lilla encourages people who come to see her to broaden their definition of a quickie and think of it as taking five, 10, or 20 minutes to connect with each other. That can mean having a hot five minute make out or having quick oral or hand sex — essentially, doing anything your grandma might call ‘heavy petting.’ Of course, it can also mean having penetrative sex when you have the time.”
Kasandra Brabaw, refinery29.com, 5/6/2018
- 5 Women On The Benefits Of Having A Casual Fling
“These impermanent relationships – whether they’re one-night stands or last for weeks or a few months – are rarely considered valuable in and of themselves, but that may be misguided. Even very short-term, casual attachments can force us to be present in the moment and even helping us work out what we want from long-term partners. Here five women to tell us what they learned from their most momentous flings.”
Natalie Gil, refinery29.uk, 4/18/2018
- The 4 Best Ways To Make That Quickie Sex Sesh Worth It
“Sometimes, you only have a finite amount of time to do the deed. But a tight schedule doesn’t mean your speedy sex sesh has to be less than incredible. There are plenty of tricks to make sure your quickie is one to remember—even if it barely lasts five minutes. Follow these four golden rules for making your power-sex count.”
Sara Faye Green, womenshealthmag.com, 3/23/2018
- Women Enjoy Casual Sex Better When They Take The Initiative
“Norwegian investigators discovered initiative is the clearest gender-differentiating factor for regret after casual sex. However, other conditions also affect how much an individual regrets the encounter.”
Rick Nauert, PhD, psychcentral.com, 3/9/2018
- The Teen Hookup Culture: What Parents Should Know
“The study, conducted by Amanda Holman, a doctoral student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and Dr. Alan Sillars at the University of Montana, involved nearly 300 college students at a large public university. They found that while 94 percent of participating students were familiar with the phrase hooking up, there wasn’t any sense of solidarity regarding what hooking up actually entailed.”
Lisa Wade, today.com, 2/6/2018
- Your One-Night Stand Doesn’t Care About What You Actually Want In Bed
“Hookup culture in the western world makes the female orgasm all the more complicated.”
Paulina Rowe, thetempest.co, 1/28/2018 (Broken link removed 7/2023)
- What It Means To Be Demisexual
“However, there’s a select few members of society who don’t just strive to attach feelings to sexual attraction, but view it as a necessity, which means casual sex, a one-night stand or – in some cases – a kiss with a stranger is pretty much a no-go.”
Katie O’Malley, elle.com, 1/23/2018
- 11 Rules Of Being Friends With Benefits
“It’s always a good idea to talk about what the expectations are—at some point! maybe not in bed!—and even set a few guidelines about what’s going to go down before things go down. That’s a lot of frank talk before the fun stuff, but things can get a little knotty if both parties are aren’t on the same page. That’s why we asked for 11 helpful bits of advice for navigating a friends with benefits situation from relationship and sex experts.”
Krystin Arneson, glamour.com, 12/17/2017
- The Best Places To Meet A One-Night Stand, According To A New Survey
” In a recent survey of over 10,000 of their members, the found the best places to find a one-night stand. … But it’s also important to be safe when it comes to casual sex, whether you’re having sex with someone just once or hooking up with a friend with benefits.”
Natalia Lusinski, bustle.com, 11/27/2017
- Casual Sex Is A Lot More Common (And Satisfying) Than You Might Think
“People in relationships always seem to look down on those in friends-with-benefits situations, but it turns out, those on the more casual side of the spectrum may actually have a better idea of what makes for a satisfying sexual relationship.”
Justina Huddleston, stylecaster.com, 11/2/2017
- Out Of Your Head And Into Their Bed? 9 Tips For A One-Night Stand
“There’s really no reason for so-called meaningless sex to be fraught with so much unnecessary regret, because sometimes, skin-on-skin action sure beats masturbating. Here are nine tips on how to handle no-strings attached night of sex …”
Charyn Pfeuffer, bravotv.com, 10/10/2017
- Rules For Casual Sex
“We’re not asking for you to break out the silk sheets or feed us breakfast the next morning (although, if you’re looking to turn a casual sex partner into a steady hook up, some homemade pancakes never hurt in sealing that deal). But there are a few musts that we expect you to follow when we’re hooking up just for fun.”
Danielle Page, askmen.com, 10/8/2017
- Casual Sex Can Still Be Intimate
“But Dr. Zhana Vrangalova (our favorite sex educator on Periscope and the woman behind The Casual Sex Project, a user-submitted database of casual sex encounters and reflections) is here to debunk the myth that casual sex can’t be intimate and/or pleasurable, even if it lacks commitment.”
Tierney Finster, melmagazine.com, 9/28/2017
- The Relationship Type That’s Universally Despised By Women On Dating Apps
“Turns out that friends-with-benefits relationships and one-night hookups are actually the least desired types of relationship sought on dating apps, according to the largest ever international sex and tech survey.”
Rachel Thompson, mashable.com, 8/9/2017; (Broken link removed 4/2024)
- The Secret To Having A Successful Friends-With-Benefits Relationship
“Ultimately, researchers found that in addition to sexual satisfaction, young adults who acted as if they were a couple, sacrificed personal interests for the betterment of their relationship, and spent less time looking for alternative partners reported being happy with their FWB situation.”
Kimberly Lawson, vice.com, 8/1/2017
- We Asked Women How They Feel About Casual Sex
“All this is to say there are plenty of reasons many women prefer sex in a committed relationship, not all having to do with procreation. Some of us have a complicated view of one night stands, for others, it’s stress-free and fun. To understand these views and how they’re changing, I asked women around Canada how they feel about casual sex. Here’s what they said.”
Suneet Kaur, vice.com, 7/16/2017
- 10 Casual Sex Rules Every Man Should Follow
“One of the benefits of having sex in a long-term relationship is that you can, over time, discuss the things that slightly miff you … But casual sex is tricky — people are more likely to never see someone again than honestly critique the hookup experience if it was subpar for easily-fixable reasons. So here are 11 hookup etiquette rules that every 11/10, would-bone-again guy should follow…
[1.] Getting you off, or at least really trying to. …
[2.] Providing the condom. …
[3.] Disposing of said condom discreetly. …
[4.] Having lube on hand. …
[5.] Giving you the towel first. …
[6.] Offering stuff one should offer any guest. …
[7.] Putting on real clothes if he’s using the bathroom at my place. …
[8.] Being chill around his roommates when he brings you home. …
[9.] Not urging you to leave ASAP. …
[10.] Not launching the ‘FYI, not looking for anything serious’ talk after sex. …”
Julia Pugachevsky, cosmopolitan.com, 6/13/2017
- Can Friends With Benefits *Actually* Ever Work? Here Are All The Potential Pros And Cons
“While it’s obvious that one of the benefits is well, duh, more sex, there are some other potential ups and down you might want to consider.”
Siski Green, cosmopolitan.com, 6/2/2017
- Casual Sex For Older Women — Is It Ok?
“The right FWB might be closer than you think. Many people our age are widowed or divorced and, like you, don’t want another committed relationship right now.”
Joan Price, seniorplanet.org, 5/30/2017
- Netflix And … Let’s Be Friends? Report Says Millennials Overestimate ‘Hookup Culture’
“A new report out of the Harvard Graduate School of Education and Making Caring Common says young adults would prefer to spend time with friends or commit to a serious relationship, rather than have casual sex.”
Alison Bruzek, wbur.org, 5/17/2017
- Why More Parents Need To Embrace The Quickie
“Quickies have a weird rap. Sneaking away for ten minutes to bang in a closet or bathroom is considered the exclusive territory of horny co-eds, entirely too obvious couples at office holiday parties, and thinly-drawn romcom characters. They’re also notoriously unsexy. But, executed correctly, the quickie offers a much-needed opportunity to relieve stress, strengthen a relationship, and get off at a time when intimacy, connection, and, well, time, are luxuries. And sometimes that’s exactly what busy parents need. Here are some things to keep in mind.”
Adam Bulger, fatherly.com, 4/17/2017
- What It’s Really Like To Be Single In 2017, Because “Hookup Culture” & “Dating Apocalypse” Don’t Define Us
“You may believe that we’re all still in touch with our exes and past partners due to our obsession with social media and our smartphones, but we’re also all ghosting, zombieing, benching, and breadcrumbing each other. So, yeah, being single right now is, well, complicated … Luckily, Match just released its seventh annual Singles in America survey, the nation’s largest, most comprehensive annual survey of single people living in the U.S., to set the record straight about what it’s really like to be single now across the country.”
Michelle Toglia, bustle.com, 2/6/2017
- A Theory Of Casual Sex
“Instead of being genetically programmed to seek out less casual sex, women might see more risks in everyday life than men (especially white men) and act accordingly to limit those risks.”
Sarah Rense, esquire.com, 1/27/2017
- 7 Best Afternoon Delight Sex Positions
“By having sex at an unusual time of a day and changing up your normal routine, you not give yourself another way to fit sex into a busy schedules. Plus, it feels different and taboo— in the best possible way . Here are the some afternoon delight sex positions to try …”
Lea Rose Emery, bustle.com, 1/5/2017
- 6 Unspoken Rules Of Casual Sex
“Yet, every flavor of casual sex—uncommitted, unemotional, purely carnal—is governed by the same rules. We list them below to help you fornicate better.”
Ben Kassoy, gq.com, 10/6/2016
- Men Reveal How They Know A Woman Is Wife Material Vs. Just A Hookup
“Before you go and wife yourselves up in a panic, read on. I asked an anonymous group of dudes the immortal questions: how can you tell if a woman is a potential future wife or just someone they want to have sex with?”
Rebecca Jane Stokes, brides.com, 8/11/2016
- Some Millennials Are Not Having Sex. But A Vast Majority Are.
“To be clear, this does not mean that the vast majority of young millennials are having less sex than of previous generations did. It simply means that the portion of people born in the early 1990s who are not having sex is larger than a similar cohort from decades earlier.”
Jonah Engel Bromwich, nytimes.com, 8/4/2016
- How To Master The Quickie
“Feeling in the mood with only a few minutes to spare? Make it a quickie. As long as it isn’t your go-to for getting it on, it can make for some awesome, unexpected sex says Victoria R. Hartmann, a clinical sexologist.”
Taylor Kubota, mensjournal.com, 6/16/2016
- 5 Quickie Sex Positions For When You Literally Can’t Wait
“Quickies get an unfairly bad reputation for being rushed and unsatisfying. But too much of anything — yes, even super-slow, intimate sex with much eye-gazing, touching of souls, and whatnot — becomes ‘blah’ if that’s all that’s going on. Plus, quickies are all kinds of fun. They’re hot, insistent, and, if you’re pressed for time, damn convenient.”
Jill Hamilton, cosmopolitan.com, 6/8/2016
- 6 Ways You May Be Slut Shaming Without Realizing It
“That guy who slut shames girls for hooking up on the first date is the same guy trying to get girls to do it. If we don’t speak up for other girls and women, that guy will think that slut shaming is OK.”
Emily Lindin, teenvogue.com, 6/3/2016
- Why Young Women On Tinder Have ‘No Hook-Ups’ In Their Bios
“Tinder is the hook-up generation’s GPS for banging. It’s quick, convenient, and provides access to seeing a new person naked IRL. Is it mainly to get laid? For myself and most people I know, that answer is a loud and inarguable ‘Obviously.’ But browse through Tinder on any given day and you’ll find people who disagree. “
Jake Kivanc, vice.com, 5/20/2016
- How To Say “No” In The Middle Of A Hookup Without Feeling Awkward About It
“At any point before or during (and after) a sexual encounter, you are in control of your body. You have the power to decide that what’s happening, or what seems like it’s about to happen, is not okay with you. Even if you have consented to something already, you can rescind that consent whenever you feel like it. But understanding this concept is one thing – putting it into practice is another.”
Emily Lindin, teenvogue.com, 5/18/2016
- Real Women Share How They Turned One-Night Stands Into Relationships
“But not anymore: According to the latest Singles in America survey, one in four people have turned a hookup into a real, grown-ass relationship. (So whoever said something about no one wanting a cow that gives milk away for free can suck it.)”
Krissy Brady, womenshealthmag.com, 5/6/2016
- How To Have Casual Sex With Friends (And Not Regret It)
“‘I’ve interviewed many adults through the years who had friends-with-benefits arrangements that worked well for them when they were single and looking for fun and connection,’ says Andrea Syrtash, Relationship Expert and Co-Author of It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date. ‘The issue obviously pops up when someone in the friendship secretly (or not so secretly) wants more.'”
Aly Walansky, mensjournal.com, 3/8/2016
- How Pleasurable Is Oral Sex With Hookup Partners?
“In other words, oral sex was no more or less likely to happen in hookups versus more committed types of sexual encounters.”
Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, psychologytoday.com, 2/22/2016
- The Wisdom Of Casual Sex: This Anthropologist Says It Can Be A Good Path To Commitment
“When I asked Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and Match.com’s chief scientific adviser, about these statistics, she said she wasn’t surprised to find that singles were parlaying casual sex into commitment. It’s part of a theory she has about how singles are looking to make a connection quickly and commit more slowly, a concept she calls ‘slow love.'”
Lisa Bonos, washingtonpost.com, 2/2/2016
- In Defense Of Quickies, Because Short Sex Doesn’t Mean Bad Sex
“Yes, I am all for orgasm equality and hate the myth that the female orgasm is somehow this elusive mystery we’re all chasing with a broken net. BUT I also don’t think it has to be the main and only goal of every sexual encounter. Yeah, if you have a quickie maybe you’re not going to get off, maybe you’re going to get interrupted or chicken out halfway through. Who cares? It’s fun and you can always finish at home.”
Lea Rose Emery, bustle.com, 1/7/2016
- Millennials Are Very Mixed Up About Sex
“Unsurprisingly, millennials are also far more accepting of same-sex relations, with 56 percent voicing unqualified approval, compared to 26 percent of GenX’ers in the early 1990s and 21 percent of Boomers in the early 1970s. The big conclusion: even though millennials are more the most sexually tolerant generation, the number of people they have sex with does not match a free love mentality—at least in the most black-and-white view. However, it is by no means clear that millennials are more restrained in their sexual behavior.”
Emily Shire, thedailybeast.com, 5/6/2015
- The Sexually Conservative Millennial
“But it also upends assumptions. A majority of young people consider random sex morally wrong in some circumstances, and many of them consider it always wrong. So much for hookup culture.”
Emma Green, theatlantic.com, 3/27/2015