• Autosexuality (& Autoromantic & Sologamy)

Autosexuality is “any form of sexual arousal or stimulation that occurs without the participation of another individual, for example, masturbation, sexual dreams, or sexual fantasies,” according to the American Psychological Association.1

Making love to oneself may be considered masturbating to some, but there are people whose sexual and romantic (“autoromantic“) orientations are toward themselves, from self-love to dating and marrying (“sologamy,” which is not recognized legally).

“Autosexuals are sexually attracted to themselves”2 and “someone who is sexually attracted to themselves or prefers self-gratification over other forms of sexual activity.”3 “Solosexuals” also prefer “masturbation over other forms of sex.”4

Autoeroticism is the “sexual feeling arising without known external stimulation; sexual gratification obtained solely through stimulation by oneself of one’s own body.”5 It is not to be confused with autoerotic asphyxia, “asphyxia caused by intentionally strangling oneself while masturbating in order to intensify the orgasm through reduced oxygen flow to the brain.”6

The sourced articles below should provide more information on autosexuality.

  1. Autosexual

    “Autosexuality is a sexual orientation where one has sex with and is sexually attracted towards oneself. Self-pleasure is more enjoyable for these individuals than sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual activity. Autosexuality takes on several forms. One can have sex with oneself and with others simultaneously. Masturbation is a form of autosexuality. Enjoying masturbation does not necessarily make one an autosexual. Having sex or playing with oneself while thinking of oneself or of an object is another form of autosexuality.”

    Kinkly.com, kinkly.com, accessed on 3/21/2019

  2. List of Sexualities: What You Need To Know About Each Orientation

    “When it comes to sexual orientation, having a list of sexualities handy can help you understand them better. Here’s what you should know about LGBTQ+. … Autosexual. Being autosexual is also something that would be difficult for people who don’t identify as this to understand. This type of sexuality is when someone can only be sexually aroused by themselves. They satisfy themselves sexually by masturbating and don’t have sexual desire for anyone else.”

    Bella Pope, lovepanky.com, accessed on 3/21/2019

  3. Three Ways To Celebrate International Women’s Day Like The Modern Femme-Identified Clownfish You Truly Are

    “When you’re an autosexual, regular activities like buying a coffee or sitting on the couch become sexy dates! To clarify, being an autosexual doesn’t mean you are only attracted to yourself and don’t date other people, it just means you’ve found a way to turn your narcissism into a sexual identity that qualifies you as an oppressed minority who needs special validation and attention.”

    Meghan Murphy, feministcurrent.com, 3/8/2019

  4. ‘To Some Degree, We’re All A Shade Of Autosexual’: What It Means To Be Attracted To Yourself

    “According to Dr. Jess O’Reilly, a sex and relationship expert and host of Sex with Dr. Jess, autosexuality is experienced differently from person to person. ‘Some people might use it to define themselves and some people might use it as a categorical identity,’ says O’Reilly. Those who identify as autosexual can be aroused by themselves, by their own naked flesh or by the ‘power of self pleasure.'”

    Meghan Collie, globalnews.ca, 3/6/2019

  5. What Is Autosexuality?

    “Is it a new concept? No. In his book Freud and Autosexuality, sychoanalysis researcher and professor Michel Herve Bertaux-Navoiseau writes that although ‘the Greeks didn’t have a word to designate autosexuality’, philosophers of the time ‘did not make any difference between making love with one’s clitoris or foreskin or with two sexes’. Psychology Today’s [blogger Leon] Seltzer also cites the Greeks. ‘As the original Narcissus of Greek mythology became enamoured of his own image (as reflected in a pool of water), so can pronounced autoerotics be physically attracted to – or titillated by – themselves,’ he says.”

    The Week, theweek.co.uk, 3/6/2019

  6. Why Growing Numbers Are Saying ‘Yes’ To Themselves

    “‘80% of the people whom I married to themselves shed a tear reading their vows. They usually say things like *I forgive myself* and *I will no longer call myself ugly*.’ Welcome to the world of self-marriage or ‘sologamy’, which has attracted increasing attention over the last few years. While it is not legal to marry yourself anywhere in the world, reports of people holding mock ceremonies go for several decades and can be found everywhere from Japan to Italy, to Australia and the UK.”

    Didem Tali, bbc.com, 12/22/2017

  7. Sologamy: Why More And More Women Are Marrying…Themselves

    “So where has the trend come from? You probably remember sologamy’s early tongue-in-cheek appearance on Sex and the City. Carrie, sick of buying engagement gifts, wedding gifts, christening gifts, and every other gift under the sun, decides to register for an expensive pair of shoes (Manolos, of course) after announcing her recent marriage—to herself.”

    Léa Rose Emery, brides.com, 10/9/2017

  8. Why Women Are Choosing To Marry Themselves

    “The concept of self-marriage has gained enough popularity that it has even managed to spawn ‘self-wedding’ kits from a website called IMarriedMe.com; the package includes a single wedding ring, vows, and affirmation cards. But whatever you do, don’t start calling these women sologamists. ‘We’re not some kind of en masse movement of weird, narcissistic women,’ says Anderson. ‘As far as I know, we each came to this decision on our own.'”

    Patricia Garcia, vogue.com, 10/6/2017

  9. Sologamy,’ The Practice Of Marrying Oneself, Is Culture’s Newest Trend

    “So, it it just a passing trend? Or is sologamy for life? As [Sophie] Tanner explains, it’s the latter. ‘I hope seeing how empowering committing to yourself is, can liberate people and teach them that seeking solitude is a good thing,’ she says. ‘You can waste your life waiting for the one, when you are the one yourself.'”

    Alyssa Pereira, sfgate.com, 5/18/2017

  10. Here’s Why Some Women Get Turned On By Looking At Themselves

    “Think you might be dating an autosexual? Don’t worry. You’re probably not. According to the original definition of the word by ego-analysist Dr. Bernard Apfelbaum, an autosexual is someone ‘who has a great deal of trouble responding to someone else sexually but can respond fairly or very well to his her own touch.'”

    Zeynep Yenisey, maxim.com, 2/21/2017

  11. How I Date Myself (Literally) As An Autoromantic

    “‘How to date yourself’ landed a list of the most highly-googled questions in 2015 for a good reason. People seriously want to experience relationships with themselves that are just as fulfilling, intimate, and passionate as the ones they have with splashes of romance. While the importance of dating yourself get a lot of hype, very few people know how to do it deliberately. After years of identifying as an autoromantic without knowing it, it’s become clear to me that most people do not have the kind of relationship with themselves that I have. When you’re in love with people who aren’t you, your feelings in that relationship are on the onus of someone else. When you’re in legitimate love with yourself, the infatuation cycle is never-ending.”

    Ghia Vitale, quailbellmagazine.com, 4/25/2016

  12. Id A Day: Autosexual

    “Etymology: Coming from the ancient Greek auto, meaning self, and sexual, the term autosexual refers to masturbation. Why use it? In the wide world of LGBTetc. terminology and Google searches the exact definition of autosexuality is a point of contention. Some sources define autosexuality as an orientation where folks are only sexually aroused by themselves and do not desire other sexual partners. These sources are quick to point out that autosexuality is a spectrum and some autosexuals may also experience sexual desire for others.”

    Olivia Fantini, thecsph.org, 6/25/2015

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Footnotes

1. apa.org, accessed on 3/19/2019

2. theodysseyonline.com, 9/14/2016

3. hornet.com, 10/16/2016

4. psychologytoday.com, 6/6/2018

5. merriam-webster.com, accessed 3/19/2019

6. dictionary.com, accessed on 3/19/2019